We make this prayer in Jesus name, Amen.

Yesterday morning, as I was eating in the dining hall, someone came up to me and said hi. Here’s how that conversation went:

F: “Hey Jan, how are you? I saw from over there and saw you with your eyes closed for so long.”

J: “Oh, I was praying.” I smiled.

F: “What, oh sorry. Usually people pray really fast. Is there so much to be thankful for anyways?”

J:”…there’s always many things to be thankful for, especially for surviving this hectic week.”

H: “Yea, she always prays very long (before meals), and that’s a good thing.”

I’m really fortunate to be living in a time and place where I’m able to openly practice my faith. People in my RC, for the most part, are very understanding towards their Christian friends who say grace before meals. I guess the more you are around people of different race and religions you tend to become more empathetic when you understand their practices.

At the same time, I’m very fortunate to have meals with friends who say grace too, because I feel that our prayers together are so much more beautiful.

So whether or not you practice praying regularly, I just wanted to remind y’all that if you take time to reflect, there’s definitely a lot of things to be thankful for.

And there’s no need to rush through saying grace, you realise you’ll enjoy your meal a lot better.

monitor the condition

The patient’s condition has finally stabilized…*phew*

All vitals look normal. 7:45PM.

Good work everyone.

. . . . . .

What’s happening?

I’m not sure, but it was alright a minute ago! The readings are everywhere, she might go into a relapse. Her heart rate is erratic!!

I need a dose of 200mg of peace and 500mg of faith. STAT.

On it! …Patient’s condition is worsening.

Maintain the airway and breathing, we’re not going to lose that easily. Hold on, I see the source of the haemorrhaging. It’s much deeper than we thought.

Must have ruptured from the previous procedure yesterday.

Everything is going to be fine. Everything is going to be fine. Everything is going to be…

Heart rate is declining back to normal. I wonder what’s wrong today?

Didn’t she just go for healing treatment at the Ministry of Acute Specialised Surgery unit? The damage must have been pretty bad.

 

Grateful for your loss

You know the saying,

I’m sorry for your loss.

Well we all know it’s in the context of someone passing away, but what about physical objects that we lose? Most of us go into an epic panic after misplacing something, or knowing that we dropped our favourite wallet filled important cards and money, somewhere along the way home. I speak from experience, so I know I’m part of this majority. But recently, I misplaced not one, but two three things this week. Yes, that’s right.

It all started with me dropping my matric card on the way to mass last Friday. And I remember thinking, should I go for mass or turn back and look for it???? I went to mass. But my mind was in a complete state of panic (see previous post letting go), something in me was triggered by that incident, I had one of the worst panic attacks I’ve had in a while. I wasn’t necessarily worried by losing the card, but something in me was so attached to the failures and losses(yeah, pun intended) that I’ve been having over this semester, that it all came flushing back. I never let go, I merely repressed it. And that was so unhealthy.

Next to go was my folder with my tediously completed math assignment. Well this one is more of a non-loss because I thought I lost it and I really just lost my mind. I was angry and upset with myself again for making mistakes. But I’m a matter of a minute I found it in my bag. Silly me.

Last to actually say goodbye was my trusty wireless earpiece. By this point, I wasn’t really sad about the things I had lost, even though I really miss that pair. I just knew that it was gone, if it comes back it does, if it doesn’t then that’s okay.

Losing your card, doesn’t mean you lose your identity in God.

If there’s one thing to take away from all of this, it’s that I’ll always be grateful for the loss of my physical objects. When it happens because of us, that’s okay, we aren’t perfect in the things we do but we are perfect in God. When it happened because of other people, well even more reason we shouldn’t be upset and angry. I just hope that I don’t forget this and listen to the soft endearing call of God, reminding me that it’s okay Princess, those things are replaceable, but my love for you isn’t.

I’m home for the weekend, and yes there’s another pile of endless work to be done. Next week, I hope to apply for my new matric card and continue on towards finals, living life to the fullest without the worry of being sorry I lost something.

Casting all your anxiety on Him, because he cares for you. —1 Peter 5:7 NASB

Hellü friend please don’t run away

LSM2231 lab session was pretty fun today when we had to monitor the respiration behavior of mealworms and crickets. The crickets were super jumpy. One of them even jumped out and had a tour of the lab.

When crickets are kept at lower temperatures they should have lower respiration because their metabolism lowers, hence breathing less. We didn’t really get to see these results but issok I had fun.

letting go

In the recent months (well basically this entire semester as of far), I have not been dealing with my stress well. In the first week of school, I had a really anxious breakdown over assignments. Look at the state of things now, I am not as motivated as I used to be. I really want to get myself out of this dark place because right now, I’m very mentally, physically, emotionally and academically frustrated with myself.

I feel like I’ve lost control of a lot of things, mainly my health and emotional stability. I feel like there has been so much that I have accomplished over the 8/9 weeks of school, but it never seems to be enough. I can’t say that I’m not happy either because I have been supported by my family and friends so much.

Lord, I really don’t know what will happen but I know that I want it to change today. I release all my burdens to you. I release my self-pity and sorrow to you. Amen.

Let no one say when he is tempted, “I am being tempted by God”, for god cannot be tempted by evil, and He himself does not temp anyone.” But each one is tempted when he is carried away and enticed by his own lust.

James 1:13-14 NASB

Yunnan Day 10: Let’s Take a Walk

Day 10

 

Showered but decided to catch the sunset with Isa just now. We took a short walk out to the main road. It was nice to walk a different route and view the Ice Mountain from a different spot!

There’s no facilitation today but we have welfare night activities in 4 min, but meanwhile I’m lying in bed in a very comfortable position as sleepiness creeps up on me.

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Side note: The plums here are my favourite! I ate the one the Lijiang Uni students gave and it was really so much better when it was ripe. Tastes pretty similar to our plums but the skin is less sour?

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