You know the saying,
I’m sorry for your loss.
Well we all know it’s in the context of someone passing away, but what about physical objects that we lose? Most of us go into an epic panic after misplacing something, or knowing that we dropped our favourite wallet filled important cards and money, somewhere along the way home. I speak from experience, so I know I’m part of this majority. But recently, I misplaced not one, but
two three things this week. Yes, that’s right.
It all started with me dropping my matric card on the way to mass last Friday. And I remember thinking, should I go for mass or turn back and look for it???? I went to mass. But my mind was in a complete state of panic (see previous post letting go), something in me was triggered by that incident, I had one of the worst panic attacks I’ve had in a while. I wasn’t necessarily worried by losing the card, but something in me was so attached to the failures and losses(yeah, pun intended) that I’ve been having over this semester, that it all came flushing back. I never let go, I merely repressed it. And that was so unhealthy.
Next to go was my folder with my tediously completed math assignment. Well this one is more of a non-loss because I thought I lost it and I really just lost my mind. I was angry and upset with myself again for making mistakes. But I’m a matter of a minute I found it in my bag. Silly me.
Last to actually say goodbye was my trusty wireless earpiece. By this point, I wasn’t really sad about the things I had lost, even though I really miss that pair. I just knew that it was gone, if it comes back it does, if it doesn’t then that’s okay.
Losing your card, doesn’t mean you lose your identity in God.
If there’s one thing to take away from all of this, it’s that I’ll always be grateful for the loss of my physical objects. When it happens because of us, that’s okay, we aren’t perfect in the things we do but we are perfect in God. When it happened because of other people, well even more reason we shouldn’t be upset and angry. I just hope that I don’t forget this and listen to the soft endearing call of God, reminding me that it’s okay Princess, those things are replaceable, but my love for you isn’t.
I’m home for the weekend, and yes there’s another pile of endless work to be done. Next week, I hope to apply for my new matric card and continue on towards finals, living life to the fullest without the worry of being sorry I lost something.
Casting all your anxiety on Him, because he cares for you. —1 Peter 5:7 NASB